Yahoo Finance How To Manage Money With Your Spouse If You’re Political Opposites
There has always been a concrete difference between Democrats and Republicans, but in recent years that difference has intensified and the two have become increasingly siloed from one another, with members of either party often feeling more than just a little bit hostile towards the other.
If you find it difficult to imagine getting along with a political opposite, imagine being married to one. It sounds practically impossible! Though blessed unions between people with rivaling political views are on the decline, they aren’t extinct; according to a 2020 American Family Survey, 21% of marriages are politically mixed and nearly 4% (3.6%) are between Democrats and Republicans.
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And the issue of politically mixed marriages is no stranger to financial advisors such as Emily Trevino from Wise Insurance.
“As a financial advisor for over a decade, I’ve seen my fair share of couples who don’t see eye to eye politically,” Trevino said. “Money and politics are two of the touchiest subjects, so when you combine them under one roof, it can lead to some tense conversations.”
Getting by day to day with a political opposite, particularly during such a fraught time, is a tough concept to wrap your head around and it invites the question, “How on earth do you manage money with a spouse whose political views rival yours?”
Here are top tips from financial experts.
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Focus On Shared Financial Goals
Just because you don’t see eye to eye on politics, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see eye to eye on money matters.
“While you may disagree on policy solutions, you likely have common goals like saving for retirement, college or vacations,” Trevino said. “Concentrate on those to build unity.”
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Communicate Openly and Compromise
Every marriage requires solid communication and spouses need to be on the same page about money. Be sure to discuss money matters openly and often.
“Schedule money talks to discuss goals, budgets and spending like you would any important priority,” Trevino said. “If certain purchases make one spouse uncomfortable, agree on limits. With understanding and compromise, you can still align on finances despite political differences.”
Create a Budget and Set Boundaries That Serve You Both
No matter your spouse’s viewpoints on policy, it’s essential to come together and work out a budget that serves you both separately and as a unit.
“Budget by creating a plan together that reflects both of your priorities,” said Joseph Catanzaro, financial advisor at Oak & Stone Capital Advisors. “Be honest about your income, expenses and any financial goals you want to achieve. Setting clear boundaries and goals can help you stay on track.”
Split Financial Control
“If tensions run high, split controlling certain accounts or bills,” Trevino said. “That way you each maintain some autonomy while still merging finances. But revisit this regularly as a temporary solution.”
Agree to Disagree — With Respect
There are probably at least a couple of issues you already disagree on, but money management mustn’t be one of them. Make sure to maintain respect with one another so that you can make progress as a unit.
“You won’t always approve of how the other spends money, but judging or lecturing won’t help,” Trevino said. “Try to understand where they’re coming from, even if you don’t agree. As long as bills are paid and you’re both contributing fairly, some personal spending should be allowed.”
Celebrate Your Financial Wins Together
Even if you don’t agree on politics, you can agree on money management and should celebrate wins together. This can be a bonding and motivating experience.
“Whether it’s paying off debt or reaching a savings milestone, acknowledge each other’s efforts and celebrate your achievements as a team,” Catanzaro said. “Sharing those wins will go a long way in your relationship.”
Seek Counseling If Needed
Sometimes you just can’t work things out on your own. And that’s normal, but it can be a serious roadblock and set you back financially. If you’re not communicating well, seek counseling.
“For some couples, political differences reflect deeper communication issues,” Trevino said. “Speaking to a counselor can help build empathy, set healthy boundaries, improve conflict resolution skills and reframe how you view your partner’s political opinions.”
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: How To Manage Money With Your Spouse If You’re Political Opposites
