Yahoo Finance Couple Making $220,000 Says Family Is Jealous And Makes Rude Comments — Dave Ramsey Asserts: 'Not Winning To Please Them Is An Absurd Idea'
In a recent call to financial expert Dave Ramsey, Stephanie from Minneapolis sought advice on handling family dynamics after experiencing significant financial success. Stephanie and her husband saw their business grow rapidly, increasing from zero to $220,000 in just a year and a half. However, this newfound wealth brought unexpected challenges within her family.
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Stephanie described how simple upgrades, such as purchasing a new mattress or joining a nice gym, elicited comments like "little moneybags" and insinuations that they "must have won the lottery." These remarks have created tension, particularly during family gatherings.
Ramsey provided straightforward advice, emphasizing the importance of communication and boundaries. "If you have a good relationship, and someone says something hurtful, you ought to be able to say that," Ramsey stated. He suggested addressing the issue directly: "I know you probably didn't mean anything by that, but when you said it, it felt like you were questioning whether we should be successful, and it hurt my feelings."
He explained that money doesn't cause problems but magnifies existing issues. Ramsey noted, "If you have a high-quality relationship, it will become even more so with large sums of money. If your relationships are weak and petty, that will also be magnified." He recommended Henry Cloud's book "Boundaries" for dealing with these situations.
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Ramsey also shared personal experiences, recounting how he and his wife, Sharon, chose not to discuss their financial achievements with family members who might not understand. He highlighted the importance of discretion, saying, "We just don't talk about a lot of stuff. We might say, ‘I don't know if so-and-so can really emotionally grasp that, so we're just probably not gonna bring it up.'"
Moreover, Ramsey addressed the awkwardness of discussing financial success with friends. He mentioned how early charitable donations felt significant but became challenging to talk about as they grew larger. "I can remember the first time I gave a thousand dollars to something and the first time I gave a hundred thousand. It's sometimes very awkward with a friend from 20 years ago," he said.
Ramsey acknowledged that dealing with such comments is part of the territory when experiencing growth. He likened it to other life changes, such as becoming a person of faith from a nonreligious background, which can also elicit eye rolls and snide remarks.
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Ramsey explained that the core issues are often envy and jealousy. "Jealousy is, ‘I'd like to have what you have.' Envy is, ‘I don't think I can ever have that, so I don't want you to have it either,'" he stated. This distinction is crucial in understanding the root of family and friends' reactions.
Ramsey concluded with a strong message: sometimes, distancing oneself from toxic relationships is necessary. "You can't go, ‘I'm gonna fail at business because Bobby is gonna be upset if I win.' Well, screw Bobby. Bobby's just gonna have to take a ride," he asserted.
Stephanie's call highlights a common struggle for those achieving financial success: maintaining healthy relationships amid envy and misunderstanding. Ramsey's advice reiterates the importance of boundaries, discretion, and, sometimes, tough decisions about who to keep close.
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