12 Steps To Getting Over Your Fear of Flying

Remember what I mentioned earlier about exposure therapy? There’s a great big world out there to see, and as with any fear, facing your flight anxieties head-on can do a lot to normalize the experience and de-escalate your panicked moments.

Turbulence seems alarming, but in reality it’s caused by the same routine shifts in wind that bores birds on a daily basis. Like birds, planes are built for it. “Most of the turbulence that the general population encounters is so minimal compared to what the airplane can take,” explains Kevin Kelly, a senior captain with a major U.S. airline.

I was once upgraded to first class on a 15-hour Cathay Pacific flight (because they thought I was my dad’s wife) and I spent nine of those hours sleeping peacefully under that goose down duvet. Feeling physically comfortable made achieving emotional comfort that much easier. For more on how to get upgraded, click here.

Becoming familiar with how carefully planes are designed to withstand emergencies can be comforting. The pilot and co-pilot are highly trained to deal with emergencies as well. “Recurrent training is every 6 months,” says Kelly. He has been flying for over 40 years, but he and other commercial pilots are constantly refreshing their skills.

Fear of Flying, an SFO-based workshop, uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. After travel writer Marlena Spieler took the course, she was able to fly without debilitating fear. According to Spieler, “the enthusiasm of the pilots, the reassurance of the psychologists, the demystification of the airline volunteers, and the behind the scenes visits” helped in a major way.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be used outside of a flight-specific clinic as well. “If you change your thoughts, you can change your response and behavior,” says Lisa Jackson, the editor of Eat Drink Travel, who has also dealt with flying anxiety. Addressing general anxiety can reduce the intensity during triggering moments, like being on a plane. Exposure therapy has been known to work as well.

Whether in a real plane or a simulator, getting your hands onto a plane’s yoke will give you a sense of control. Lack of control (and not being able to see the navigational tools, the way you can in a car or bus), is a major contributor to flying anxiety.

“If you’ve ever ridden in the back of the bus, that will be the bumpiest ride, and that’s true in an airplane too,” says Kelly. According to JetBlue, it will be quieter up there, too — another bonus.

Most pilots are “happy to have people come up to say hi and look around,” says Kelly, adding a caveat that this is not the case when the plane is in the air. If you’re one of the first to board, ask a flight attendant if you can take a peek at the cockpit. Meeting the people flying creates trust, as does seeing a functional control panel.

Figure out which seat makes you feel the most comfortable. Window seats create a sense of place by being able to reference the ground, while aisle seats allow for blissful ignorance. Middle seats give you two armrests to grip.

Anxiety medications work effectively as sedatives, so all the noise and movement doesn’t register as something to get worked up about. Make sure to see a doctor for a prescription before your flight. Others recommend a glass (or two) of wine as an alternative, but the two should not be mixed.

Phobias are irrational, so for some, logic is a good antidote. “I read every statistic I can get my hands on about flying. I read pilots' stories that validated my trust in the airline industry,” says Pilgrim Magazine’s Ashley Halligan, a travel writer who suffered from flight anxiety for more than seven years. “It's important to interrupt yourself. It's easy to allow our fears to control us. Statistics and facts help, particularly from airline professionals.”