Yahoo Finance Where to move in with your best friends
What would you sacrifice to ensure you have great neighbours nearby in later life? A second bedroom, perhaps, or a great view?
Having good friends living in the same place you do could be the key to a happy retirement. In order to find the kindred spirits you’d like to bump into every day, you must meet as many owners as you can when viewing a retirement property.
When Wendy Osburn, 76, went to visit Wadswick Green, a retirement village near Bath in Wiltshire, it was a chance meeting with widow Marilyn McGee that convinced her it would be the right move.
“We started chatting and learned that we both grew up in the Bromley area in Kent, so we had a lot to talk about from the start,” says Wendy. “It wasn’t the easiest decision for me to move as I still look after my husband who suffers from dementia, and lives in a care home not too far from here. Marilyn’s company has really helped me find my feet within the community and our little adventures help to take my mind off things.”
A survey by Churchill Retirement and Onepoll revealed that older people want to be more neighbourly, with 90 per cent of over-55s saying they would like to get to know their neighbours better, compared with 71 per cent of 18-24 year-olds.
Fewer than half of the younger people questioned said they exchanged Christmas cards with those living next door, compared with 80 per cent of the over-55s.
Separate research from Mayfield villages, which is building a development in Watford, discovered that fewer than a third of millennials know their neighbour’s full name, compared with two thirds of over-55s.
Trust seems to increase with age too, with twice as many over-55s likely to leave a spare set of keys with their neighbour than 18-34 year-olds, rising to 61 per cent of those aged 65-69 and 71 per cent of those aged over 81.
“When you’re visiting a retirement development, try to talk to the people already living there,” advises Glenys Bastin, from Aspen Retirement Living. Marjory Derrick, 86, moved to Retirement Villages’ Gittisham Hill Park development in Devon after her friend Barbara McFarlane recommended it.
She was also prompted to buy a onebedroom bungalow by another neighbour Norman John, who had been a great friend of her husband and looked after her after he died in 2004.
“Norman was a gem and took great care of me, driving me to the hospital when Keith was ill and becoming a good friend after he died,” says Marjorie.
Norman then suggested their first move – neighbouring apartments in a development in Budleigh Salterton. “We lived there for five years before moving here,” Marjory explains.
Norman, 92, used to be with the Fleet Air Arm. He suggested they move to Gittisham Hill Park which offers nursing care, as well as 12 acres of grounds and a clubhouse. He bought a bungalow three doors down from Marjory.
“Barbara and I are now merry widows, and we are all great friends living a few doors away from each other,” adds Marjory. “We help each other out, but don’t tend to talk about our pasts. We are living for the present.”
Karl Hallows of Brio Retirement emphasises that you’re not just choosing a home, you are also choosing your new neighbours, community and a brand new and a potentially uncertain lifestyle. “What makes a place feel like home?” he asks.
“Often, it’s the people we love, whether they are friends, family, neighbours or just a welcoming friendly face. Why should that be any different in retirement?”
When Eileen Cundell, 78, was weighing up whether to make the move to an apartment at Churchill’s Moorhouse Lodge in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, it was the blossoming of a friendship with 83-year-old owner Wilf Sturdee that helped to make up her mind.
“I was looking for somewhere safe and secure with nice people around me,” recalls Eileen, a widowed former quality controller.
“I came along to one of the lodge’s regular social events feeling nervous, as I didn’t know anyone. Wilf in particular made me feel very welcome. We got on really well and made a connection straight away. Until then I had been in doubt about the move, but meeting Wilf helped me to make the decision.”
After that, Elaine bought a one-bedroom apartment and settled in quickly knowing that Wilf would look out for her. “He was definitely the deciding factor,” she says. “Moving here was the best decision I could have made, and I’m happier now than I have been for years.”
The best scenario of all is if you can bring your friends and family with you, recreating the family life that you had before downsizing.
Brian Branson, 75, managed to do just that after moving from Cheshire into a two-bedroom apartment at Anchor’s Hampshire Lakes village in Yateley two years ago.
His golf buddy Eddie Smith, 81, who helped him move in, loved the village, and so bought a one-bedroom apartment a few months later. Then Brian’s sister-in-law Meryl, 71, came to visit and she too put a deposit down on a two-bedroom apartment.
“I moved into Hampshire Lakes more than two years ago and can truly say it offers the whole package,” Brian says. “I am very sociable and have always kept up with a lot of friends, which is why it suits me down to the ground. I am also an active member of the residents’ association.
“Although Meryl, my sister-in law, only lives five minutes down the road, I’m really looking forward to her moving here. It makes the whole downsizing process far less daunting knowing that both of you are making the transition to the same place.”
Eddie feels just the same way and is happy he can see his friend more frequently. “It does make the moving process a lot easier knowing that you will already have a few friendly faces floating around,” he says. “We still play golf on Mondays and Thursdays, and manage to meet for coffee or a drink on a regular basis.”
Hampshire Lakes retirement village is set in woodlands between Yateley and Sandhurst, in Hampshire. There is also a care home on site. The second phase will add a further 45 one- and two-bedroom apartments with prices starting from £348,000.
In an echo of earlier years, you can even end up moving in right next to your friends, much like a university halls – albeit with fewer raucous parties.
Two golfing chums in their mid-80s ended up with apartments next door to each other in Churchill’s Alfred Lodge in Bridport, Dorset. Jean Stephens and Madeline Skelly are members of the Bridport & West Dorset Golf Club. Both have served as captains and Madeline was the club’s first female director.
“I’d been considering a move to Churchill’s development and decided to go for it,” says Jean, a retired secretary and mother of two.
“Since Madeline was coming here too it was nice to know that I would know someone straight away. What I didn’t know is that we would end up next door to each other – but it’s a nice coincidence.”
It makes arranging their weekly round of golf easier too.
