Yahoo Finance Women Are Sharing The Unthinkable Statements Their Partners Made That Had Them Looking At The Relationship In A Totally New Light
It never ceases to amaze me (no matter how many times I witness it personally) how some people even have the ability to say heartless, out-of-touch, and totally hurtful comments to not just another human being but especially to someone they're meant to "love."
So, when Reddit user u/Belt-of-venus posed the question, "What is something your partner said or did that made you question your relationship or even made you reconsider your relationship?" in r/AskWomen, the responses left me feeling upset, disheartened, and, at this point, totally unsurprised:
1."He once told me, 'although you are not as beautiful as my ex-girlfriend, you cook deliciously.' I immediately realized that I would not continue with him."
2."My ex told me my tattoos made me look like a 'slag' — I had them before we met and didn’t add any to the ones I had. He also said my nose stud made me look like a 'cheap prostitute,' which again, I had before we met. He kept it to himself, though, until we were married, so that was great."
3."I was told that my cats needed to be trained and disciplined. When the cats do something (like jump on the counter or meow-yell at me while I make their food), I was supposed to make their life, and I quote, 'a living hell.'"
4."There was an institution where I received an extraordinary talent scholarship, and as a subgroup, I belonged to the foreigners group of the same scholarship. My ex told me out of the blue that I am 'not extraordinarily talented but just a foreigner.' I should've understood already at that moment from his hate, but I needed a dozen more signs."
5."He told me to give up my dream of volunteering for Doctors without Borders because 'if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't want to be anywhere except with the person you love; that's what my parents said.' He also said that I'm delusional to think that he'd come visit me. It's delusional to think I'd give up my dream for a guy who still lives with his parents at 28."
6."At his niece's 13th birthday party, he said his niece looked 'like a bitch' and her friends also 'look like bitches.' I said, 'Um, no, they are actual children!' And he doubled down. Not that it matters, but they were all looking at a book of poetry together and being super wholesome, so it really came out of nowhere."
"He literally just hated them for no reason. I refuse to be with a person who could talk about a child that way; there is absolutely nothing a kid could do to make me think, 'This child is a b.' It also felt really creepy to me that he was viewing them in a way that he could use grown-up labels like that."
7."My ex was scrolling through Instagram, and his feed was mostly short, blonde, fitness girls. I’m tall, brunette, and curvy. I ‘jokingly’ said, 'Damn, I’m really not your type,' and he just laughed. The silence was painfully loud."
8."He told me, 'The reason I like you is because you remind me of her.' We had been together for 15 years at that point. Spoiler, it didn’t last much longer."
9."My ex was older than me by 13 years (M38), and all we had going for us was sexual chemistry. His emotional intelligence was so low, and I completely lost hope when he said to me, 'I’m an adult; I can do whatever the fuck I want.' This was after I reminded him to keep up with good hygiene, like brushing his teeth. Was there any reason to get super aggressive like that?!"
"The way he voiced his misogyny was so clear in the sense that he would talk down other women in front of me and say how this person was bad at this and get frustrated at their way of working. It’s like, no wonder no one can deal with you? We don’t need all this negativity being spread around. I’m just glad I followed my gut and moved on because I can’t be the only one more mature in a relationship when I’m younger (F25)."
10."When discussing how my sister chose me to be a godparent to her child, my ex told me she’d leave me if anything ever happened to my sister, and I was left to care for the child. I broke up with her shortly thereafter."
11."I had a mark on my nose that the doctor thought might be skin cancer. I was booked for a hospital appointment to have it removed and a biopsy. My ex took me there, and as I went in, he said, 'I hope it’s cancer. As they say, one in three of us gets it, so if you have it, the odds are I won’t.' I ended it a few months later, after seven years of much stress and sadness."
12."He told me that he wouldn’t be in a relationship with me if he cared about looks. Many times throughout our relationship, he would remind me that I'm, in fact, not beautiful. Going out of his way to prove that to me. I will never accept that from anyone ever again."
13."This was my ex after he broke up with me, then love bombed me, then had me move out, and then wanted to work on things and told me he understood where I was coming from about our issues that we could have worked on: ‘I need to do what I need to do to become a man that can love and support a family, and you can come for the ride, but I don’t need the stress.'"
14."After 17 years of marriage, two kids, and building a business together, he told me he was sick and tired of my ADHD and felt like I was intentionally disrespecting him when I forget to do stuff. My heart broke that day."
15."When they told me, 'I'm still hoping "X" calls me back, but if I end up staying with you for the next two weeks, then I will stay with you forever.'"
16."These words still ring loud in my head: ‘Never overestimate your position in my life.’ He apologized, but my feelings for him completely died."
And finally, this person shared an experience that a lot of us probably know all too well:
17."My spouse said that this incredibly talented sewist I know that makes unique fantasy creature stuffed animals is only able to make money on her craft because she is a hot woman. It really made me reconsider everything, and to be honest, that was the moment my rose-colored glasses snapped off, and it was downhill from there."
"By that, I mean it caused me to reevaluate how 'perfect' and 'woke' this man was and made me realize that just because he is intelligent and an anarchist punk doesn’t mean he isn’t as misogynistic and privileged as every other upper middle-class, white-cis straight man that thinks he’s God’s gift to humankind."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Do you have a statement from an ex or current partner that made you reevaluate the relationship? Let me know in the comments, or if you want to share your story and remain anonymous, you can fill out this form.
