The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Feb. 27-March 5)

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.

Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.

Any time I see a couple jogging together, I try to figure out which one of them is unhappy about it.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) February 27, 2021

romaine lettuce hasn’t been called back in a minute. i’m glad she got her life together

— AIDA (@shutupaida) March 2, 2021

me telling my computer i’ll update everything tomorrow pic.twitter.com/5NIGfcJfB7

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 28, 2021

21: excited for shots!!!!
2021: excited for shots!!!!!

— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) March 1, 2021

[eating probiotic yogurt while on antibiotics]
okay now battle

— anya (@veryanya) March 4, 2021

me doing my taxes: will i go to jail if i write off this pen?

some rich guy doing his taxes: deduct "the sea"

— Gabrielle Moss (@Gaby_Moss) March 2, 2021

“When covids over!!” Sounding a lot like “yesss we need to hang soon!” these days

— Geeta (@_geetaiyer_) February 28, 2021

"I don't see race!! I don't care whether you're pic.twitter.com/RZCgrqAiHy

— Mothman Festival Queen (@cableknitjumper) March 2, 2021

has anyone else not been to the dentist since Covid and also not for the five years before that

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 3, 2021

nooooo i just sent an email that said “as you mentioned in your precious email” instead of “previous email”. sick at myself

— Beth McColl (@imteddybless) March 2, 2021

One thing bout my mama, she gonna get the name of something wrong.

Her: Giiiiirl I was watching "I Don't Care."
Me: You mean, "I Care A Lot."

— Jasmyn (@JasmynBeKnowing) February 28, 2021

Genderless bathrooms but one for pooping and one for peeing

— Nori Reed (@nori_reed) February 28, 2021

I was a camp counselor the year Pitch Perfect came out and I can’t tell you how bad it was. We had to ban empty cups.

— ellory smith (@ellorysmith) March 4, 2021

i want to be the first black woman to accept an award, majorly stoned in a hoodie pic.twitter.com/PO7cBD9mrR

— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) March 1, 2021

I’m the wrong friend to ask about saving money lmao. Ima always tell you to buy because tomorrow isn’t promised 🤣😭

— Neiman Marcus Stan Account (@TheBrookeAsh) February 28, 2021

I don't want to work 5 days a week and figure out what to cook for dinner everyday I want to lie on a rock in the sun like a lizard

— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) (@cottoncandaddy) March 2, 2021

being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard

— 🧚‍♂️ (@uhprome) March 2, 2021

good morning, my ex unblocked me to inform me i need to stop telling the internet he looks like the caterpillar from bug's life

— Queen Kitten 👑 (@ElaniKitten) March 2, 2021

normalize leaving after the first red flag, i won’t do it, but you guys should

— charisse 💫 (@gngchar) March 2, 2021

wtf is a conclusion paragraph. just stop reading

— ☆彡tia (@444tia) March 3, 2021

Related...

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Feb. 6-12)

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Feb. 13-19)

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Feb. 20-26)

This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.