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Top 3 Reasons Why I Don't Want Kids In My Early 20s
According to this fresh news article from The Straits Times, the government is, once again, highlighting Singapore’s atrocious birth rates despite the recent minute spike that has brought the total fertility rate up to 1.25 in the year of 2014 - still a far cry from the optimal replacement rate of 2.1 births per woman.
A myriad of things were brought up in the news article but what really caught my eye was a comment made by Institute of Policy Studies research fellow Christopher Gee.
He concurred that it is incredibly difficult for a society with extremely low fertility rate to trudge back up to the optimal 2.1. Of course, “significant socio-economic changes would be needed to achieve this”.
Gee went on further to suggest that “this includes the age at which couples get married and the age at which women have children, with both moving towards the early 20s”.
Is he for real?
I’m a 23 year old female Singaporean and I don’t want to have children in my early 20s. It is not feasible and it is - dare I say - crazy.
Here are my top 3 reasons why this option is out of the question no matter what “help” the government is willing to extend to its population.
1. I’m Supposed To Be Carving Out My Career And Chasing My Dreams While I’m Still Young And Able
Fresh out of NUS and you expect me to settle down soon? No, thank you. My parents didn’t put me through school just to have me wind up being a young mother. Plus, I’m still learning to be independent and purportedly useful.
It isn’t anywhere near OK to go through our competitive and stressful education system just to end up having babies so that Singapore doesn’t end up too disastrous with its rapidly greying population.
I am only human and it is only fair that I have my goals and dreams that I want to pursue, blitzing career that I want to build, places that I want to explore so on and so forth.
There’s just too much to pass up!
In case you’re wondering, I didn’t go to school just to meet someone and start a family even though I did meet a great guy in my junior college and we’ve been together for 5 years and counting besides learning so much from inspiring teachers, informative textbooks and incessant 10-year-series.
2. I Simply Cannot Afford It Now
For compelling and obvious reasons, rationality trumps. I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth but I didn’t starve either. My family straddles in the middle income segment of our society comfortably but that doesn’t mean rising costs do not affect us. I can only imagine how much more absurd this suggestion sounds for those in the lower income group.
Anyhow, it is only right that I earn my keep now that I’m out of school and can finally stop stretching my hands out for allowance after 23 years living off my parents.
I am very thankful that I don’t have any tuition fee loans to pay for, I have a roof over my head and my parents aren’t demanding 50% of my take-home-pay unlike my poor (pun unintended) friend.
Any logical soul would know that raising a child is a lifelong commitment that comes with a hefty price tag that’s only bound to skyrocket. The majority of young people like myself just don’t have a huge enough stash of savings to bank on for having babies and that’s that. Need I say more?
3. I Want To Get Married Someday But It Doesn’t Mean I Have To Have Kids
I’ve had somewhat serious discussions with my partner about settling down but it is definitely not going to happen anytime soon no matter how much we miss waking up next to each other in the mornings during vacations or how much we want to be with each other 24/7.
To put things into perspective, the typical age at which a Singaporean guy graduates from university sits at around 25, give and take one or two years. Is that considered early 20s? You decide.
I don’t know about you but having children isn’t my priority for sure. Having children should be a summation of want and can.
Ideally, I would want to share my life just with my significant other in the future first.
Kids can wait. And that day will come if I want to have kids and can afford to have kids.
To sum up, the point on edging Singaporeans to marry and have babies in their early 20s is just too audacious. Too dangerous. You wouldn’t want to be a parent who isn’t the best version you can gift your future child.
What do you think? Share your comments with us below!
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