The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 27-March 5)

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.

Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Love those rare days when your kid can just go to elementary school without having to dress up as something.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 1, 2021

asked my 5-year-old what she wanted for dinner and she said “not a burned quesadilla” bc in the summer of 2019 I overcooked one side of her quesadilla

— todd dillard (@toddedillard) March 3, 2021

I just opened a pre-pandemic / pre-baby purse and it’s like an archeological discovery from a life I do not know anymore.

— Emily Favreau (@emilyfavreau) February 27, 2021

Me: come here please, I need you to help me clean this up

4: don’t you know how to do it yourself?

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 27, 2021

i have a question about kids. and my question is what the hell

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 1, 2021

Toddlers innately know just when to give a parent a hug or say I love you. If for no other reason than to ensure their own survival.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 2, 2021

I love the arbitrary rules I make as a parent like no you can’t have chips for breakfast but please have this sugar ladened cereal instead

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 4, 2021

Me to my kid: hey you know a fun way to spend an afternoon? Origami.

The kid: ok

The result: pic.twitter.com/YqRR6ngUSn

— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) February 27, 2021

feeding a toddler is like only having $0.50 to fill up your gas tank every time

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 1, 2021

I be high as a mf pretending to be dinosaurs wit my son. He be lookin like, “Damn... she’s good.”

— Big Nita (@Trillustratorr) February 28, 2021

She tried to steal the baby goat by running to the car with it exactly 5 seconds after this photo. pic.twitter.com/tXuHfGCAwI

— Lucy Small (@lucyleid) February 27, 2021

Allowance? I grew up with immigrant parents so all I got was being allowed to live in their house.

— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) March 3, 2021

[Conversation between 5-year-olds]

There are 3 bad "B" words:
1. Butt
2. Booty
3. Bagina

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 4, 2021

Not to brag but my kid can take one chore that should take 5 minutes and through meticulous and relentless negotiating, complaining, and procrastinating stretch it into an all week event.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 28, 2021

My son informs me that Slack 'looks like a boomer discord'.

— Ian Miell (@ianmiell) February 28, 2021

My 5YO lost her first tooth and is very certain that the tooth fairy will give it to an old lady who really needs it

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 4, 2021

I am literally begging you to move the Netflix logo on this image https://t.co/nIriKbf7XB

— David Thomas Moore (@dtmooreeditor) March 2, 2021

When my 4 year old gets tired she can’t stop crying and gets angry about literally everything, and people keep saying that she’ll get better as she gets older but seeing as I’m basically her 30 years later, I don’t think these people know what they’re talking about.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) March 1, 2021

Took my son out for his 1st driving lesson.

Zero out of 5 stars. Do not recommend.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 2, 2021

Me: What are you doing sweet girl
4yo: Making my dolls eat brains.

Help.

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 2, 2021

4: I need my princess dress NOW!

Me: You heard the lady! GET HER A PRINCESS DRESS STAT!

4: Who are you talking to?

Me: Your servants

4: I don’t have servants

Me: Exactly

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 4, 2021

On a scale of yelling to screaming how's your morning with the kids going?

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 3, 2021

A moment of silence for all of our selves from a year ago who knew nothing of toilet paper shortages, drive-by birthdays, and virtual school.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 1, 2021

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This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.